Standard rate.

£60 per hour

If you watch.

£65 per hour

If you offer advice

£75 per hour

If you help.

£85 per hour

If you & your mate 

Had a go first.

£95 per hour

If you & your mate had

a go first & you don't tell us.

£125 per hour

If you saw it on the net & 

thought it looked easy.

£150 per hour

All the above prices are plus VAT, & I reserve the right to add [email protected] surcharge to those who piss me off!


Remember! The impossible cannot be done Immediately, & miracles take a little longer.


Some of you may be thinking that the above was written with tongue firmly planted in cheek!

Well, call & find out! :-)